Looking for the Sunrise

Nothing like a rainy day to make you want to curl up with a good book! however it will be a house cleaning day today! Once we get the sleep-over gang back to their own homes :) We have officially started birthday season around here! Brenna's 12th birthday party/sleep-over was last night. Anna's sweet 16 party is in ONE week! and we will finish up with Emily's 14th birthday on the 15th. I also have a whole slew of meetings in the next week or so which means even though synchro season is finished I am still way too busy! Speaking of synchronized swimming... Provincials went really well! Anna scored a personal best in her solo and Brenna's team did well in the face of adversity (one of their team mates got sick and had to be cut at the last minute) We got Brenna out of last place in the figure competition. It was a good family weekend! We also went to the Truth Matters tour. The girls quite enjoyed their first taste of Sean McDowell. He is this generations most eloquent...

Last week was insanely busy but full of good things... Quick Recap: Sunday was Easter, we had a great time at church followed by a quiet afternoon at home. No big dinner (see Monday) Church was really great. The sermon uplifting and challenging... honestly I am still thinking about it :) I think Easter Sunday 2012 was a turning point for me, a new beginning. It wa smy new beginning. Monday my niece and nephew came for a late Easter dinner. We had a great evening with family. Yummy yummy food and great fellowship. Made me miss my siblings a lot. Tuesday was  Bible Camp Supper meeting with my comittee to organize day camps for this summer. it was a good couple of hours of idea sharing and i think we came up with a good plan to begin rebuilding the ministry of Estevan Bible Camp. Wednesday my folks and I went out to the KKLBC banquet. (I will be speaking there this summer). it was a good opportunity to meet the director, his wife and son. I so look forward to working with them th...

These shoes represent victory to me. Let me explain... I have always wanted a pair of really high heels but becaus ethey are impractical and all that I never allow myself to look, let alone try on or actually consider buying. And I think part of me didn't think I was worth it. Well in my journey to connectedness... I allowed myself to admit that however impractical, no matter how rarely i will wear them, even if my knees hurt like the dickens when I wear them... I am allowed to spoil myself and be just a bit impractical :) It's a small thing really but empowering.

Today is so much better! I got a good night's sleep, solved a few problems of the week and went on the Anti-bullying walk with my kids today. Life is good. Have a great day if you are out there:)

It's bound to happen... every high brings a crash... Today feels like the sun is behind some pretty thick clouds. It feels dumb. So many things have gone right but the few things that have gone wrong just feel huge right now. Maybe I'm tired, maybe I'm overwhelmed. Whatever it is I feel a bit defeated. I will not wallow in it... I can't or I will be back in the pit before I can even blink... So what do I do? Well this for starters. Just admitting it, even to myself will help. Focusing on what I am grateful for, finding things to laugh about.  A nap would be great ;) That won't happen sadly but it's a nice thought. I need to find the courage to talk about why I am crashing. I know exactly waht caused it. As much as I want to just walk away from it, I do need to confront the issue.

Today was our sharing service at church. No sermon, just the church family sharing what God is doing in our lives. I often share at church... I like to talk :) and I like to give God glory... makes me a regular at the mike... Today was different though I did not want to share, been telling myself all week that it was too soon, that I wasn't ready, the timing wasn't right. But in the end I had to share... Sharing with my church family, my almost life long struggle with depression/anxiety was difficult and easy all at the same time. It's such a huge part of me, it's kind of easy to admit but hard all the same. I hate being vulnerable and this is the ultimate in being vulnerable for me. I has the elder's annoint me with oil and pray for healing as well. It's just time to kick this disorder to the curb. It has stolen enough of my life. The past few days have been so good. I played basketball with Emily for crying out loud... so wouldn't have done that even two...