Looking for the Sunrise

So I haven't been here in awhile... life just got really busy and then I got sick and then I was just too lazy to try and make sense of the last few weeks. Still not sure I am ready to start breaking down all that happened in May but figured this was a start... Boyfriends-- yep my oldest is dating. A wonderful boy but still not sure I am ready for this stage of her life. My little girl grew up before our very eyes at her sweet 16 birthday party. She has a good head on her shoulders and her boyfriend is a good kid. For a first relationship I think it will be a good one. Here is a picture of her party guests... I will let you guess which one is the new boyfriend... (not the one holding the big paper umbrella but he would have been a good choice as well!) Battles-- all in my own head against my own demons... they are taking a lot of energy and I am tired of fighting. Going to spend some time with my pastor this week gaining perpsective and prayerfully deal with it. Breathing--

I am going to use this blog for the next little while to remember all that happened 16 years ago. Facebook doesn't seem like the place to force people to relive it with me so I'll use my blog (that I'm not sure very many people read!lol) May 1st, 1996, I was having my normal pre natal check up. I was just over 32 weeks pregnant. That appointment started a journey that I will never forget and forever be grateful for. I rememeber very clearly telling my Dr. that I was concerned, I didn't feel like my baby was moving as much as he/she should be. Something didn't feel right but then nothing about this pregnancy had ever felt quite 'right'. The tests showed that I had trace amounts of protien in my urine but Dr. G wasn't too concerned. He sent me home with instructions on how to moniter baby's movements and to rest. Come back if I was worried... Seems like such a gentle beginning to all that would transpire over the next week... As you probably kn