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If I had been able to share a victim impact statement

I have been struggling with the decision to write this blog entry for three years now. I have written it over and over in my mind and somehow it never really goes away. Now that the trial is complete and the sentence given I still want to say this 'out loud' and so a blog post it shall be.  Our lives were forever changed when the life of Leslie Dwyre was taken so abruptly and without cause. That day became a very distinct before and after point in our lives. Everything changed when we heard the news that our grade 8 daughter's teacher had been murdered. It made no sense then and it makes no more sense now, almost 3.5 years later. So if I had the opportunity, this is what I would say to him... That is has taken 3 years and just shy of 4 months for you to receive your sentence both sickens and angers me. Our justice system has failed to provide closure for family and friends for far too long.  What you did that day in April of 2014 not only took the life of another bu
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23 Years and We Still Like Each Other... Go Us!!!

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  On June 25, 1996 I was a young, just shy of 20 year old bride marrying her best friend in front of family and friends. It wasn't a perfect day. There are still things I would go back and change but I would definitely keep the groom. 23 years later, that choice is still the best choice I ever made. How young we were, but even in my youthfulness I knew that Bobby would love me and take care of me whatever life threw at us. I was dead on correct, just saying. I hoped I could be the wife he deserved, I'm still working on that. Bobby and I have been through a lot, probably no more than any other married couple but our story is ours and I choose to celebrate it every chance I get. We are ridiculously in love and I can't quite imagine how the past 23 years has flown by so quickly. For the past 23 years Bobby has been my rock. He holds me when I feel like I am falling apart. He prays for me when I have no words to speak. His hugs give me strength and his smile... his sm
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Did this have to be the next One More Thing???

So my car died on Saturday... and not in a small, simple to fix way. Nope, not my beast. It is a super big problem with a price tag to match... heavy sigh. As upset as I am, I know there are far greater problems and I can work around this one for as long as it takes us to save up for the repair. If I believed yesterday that 'Beauty exists in everything,' I have to believe it today even though there are super crappy circumstances in our life. It kind of sucks when we have to practice what we preach or live out what we say we believe. When we are dealt a blow, we get to choose how we respond. Don't get me wrong, I am pretty upset and feeling really quite at a loss as to what we do next but I do know that I can choose to be overcome by it or I can choose to overcome it. I'll let you know which side wins 😉 Also my sabbatical from Facebook begins again today, mostly because I use it as an escape and that isn't always healthy for me. It was a valuable tool in being p
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Can One Be Whole even in the Brokenness?

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Quick ramble... blog post challenges just don't seem to work for me... I guess I'm better off going at my own speed and writing when the mood strikes. So I guess what I'm saying is this blog will likely never be a daily thing and that's alright ... I'll probably try another challenge at some point but I'll probably also fail at that one too ;)   So... brokenness. It's a sad word isn't? There isn't much about it that sounds hopeful or even a little bit happy. It brings to mind, shattered vases, destroyed relationship, heartache, sorrow, lament. It's a picture of 'things gone wrong.' It's a place none of us what to be in and yet... we all end up there eventually. Brokenness is just a part of my life right now. It has been for many weeks. I often feel that I am coming apart at the seams and that I just can't take one more thing but somehow that one more thing keeps on coming and I am still in one piece. And so it begs the qu
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What comes next

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I wasn't sure when I would be able to blog again or what I would write about if I did. These past 8 days have held so many special and difficult moments, I am at a bit of a loss as to how to share them. Part of me thinks they are best held close to my heart and not shared. Another part of me wants to share it all. I think what has been most important this past week is the friendships that have been renewed or deepened. I have recognized this week just how many amazing friends I really have. To share in this grieving process with those who truly understand has been a gift. To be able to be held by and hold others has given me such strength and hope . There is this thing in my life that always makes me feel a bit less than, I know it's all in my head but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I don't really want to say what that thing is because it's not just about me but what I realized this week is the friends in my life who have become my chosen family have
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For Mrs D

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Grief has visited me once again. And for all the people I have lost in the last 4 years, this one hurts so differently, so deeply. I didn't know that grief could change my taste buds and make me so afraid to close my eyes. I didn't know you could wake up all ready in tears. This is different. This is the pain of loosing someone who isn't old, who isn't sick but who is your own age and who shares your everyday story, This is different some how. In many ways I am still in shock and survival mode. And so I will write because writing is sometimes the only way I can even begin to let go of the pain. I first met Rose when I was dating one of her cousins. I remember how bright and cheerful Rose was at every family gathering. I really wanted to get to know her but back then my world pretty much revolved around 'the boy.' Fast forward quite a few years... Bobby and I have married, had our beautiful girls and settled  our oldest, AnnaRose into school life at Hillcrest
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Day 4- Saturday Stuff

When the roses bloom the tulips get cut back to make room for the flowers that bloom in the summer... and by this time, they look pretty awful anyway! I really love flower gardening, I like pulling weeds, tilling the soil, watering my flowers in the evening. I love the beauty that follows. It reminds me of life. As I pull weeds, God speaks to me of sin and bad habits, the things I need to pull from my life. When I cut back the tulips I realize that like my favourite flower, sometimes we have to cut back things for a season so other things can grow. If I didn't water my flowers they wouldn't last very long in this often dry hot climate of southeast SK and the same goes for relationships in my life, if I don't take care of them, they too will wither away instead of blooming into beauty. If you don't understand how to take care of a certain kind of flower, you either have to learn or risk killing it off. The same thing happens with a new friendship. Flowerbeds area pret
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