If I had been able to share a victim impact statement

I have been struggling with the decision to write this blog entry for three years now. I have written it over and over in my mind and somehow it never really goes away. Now that the trial is complete and the sentence given I still want to say this 'out loud' and so a blog post it shall be. 

 Our lives were forever changed when the life of Leslie Dwyre was taken so abruptly and without cause. That day became a very distinct before and after point in our lives. Everything changed when we heard the news that our grade 8 daughter's teacher had been murdered. It made no sense then and it makes no more sense now, almost 3.5 years later. So if I had the opportunity, this is what I would say to him...
That is has taken 3 years and just shy of 4 months for you to receive your sentence both sickens and angers me. Our justice system has failed to provide closure for family and friends for far too long. 
What you did that day in April of 2014 not only took the life of another but it destroyed the innocence of all her students. My daughter was thrown into a world that was no longer safe... because of you and your actions. I will never forget who my daughter used to be as I look into her eyes and long to see the free spirit that was once so visible there. She is a beautiful person who longs to see the best in everyone and help others succeed. She made a choice back then to honour Leslie's life instead of making it all about her death and so I am hesitant to speak about this even now but know that I will never forget the days and weeks that followed Leslie's death. I will never forget the strength, the compassion and truly amazing love that Leslie's family showed all of us. Nor will I forget the pain, the sorrow and the shadow of grief that engulfed not only my child but so many others. The impact of what you did is so far reaching that it overwhelms me at times.  
You stole so much from this world when you let your anger dictate your actions and willfully took the life of another We don't know how to forgive that.
You stole the joy from family, colleagues, friends and students. You took her away from us, you took away all the potential for who she could have become and all those she would have continued to influence. You didn't let her finish her story and you changed the story of countless others. 
There is no punishment that truly satisfies and while I want to be angry and hate you for what you have done, I have to be able to live with myself and so I will choose to release the anger and find forgiveness and leave true justice in the hands of God. 

There is nothing any of us can do to ever bring her back and nothing will change the journey we have all been on because of what you did but we can all move forward and honour her life by standing tall, believing in others and showing compassion. We will not lose our smiles. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

For Mrs D

Image
Grief has visited me once again. And for all the people I have lost in the last 4 years, this one hurts so differently, so deeply. I didn't know that grief could change my taste buds and make me so afraid to close my eyes. I didn't know you could wake up all ready in tears. This is different. This is the pain of loosing someone who isn't old, who isn't sick but who is your own age and who shares your everyday story, This is different some how. In many ways I am still in shock and survival mode. And so I will write because writing is sometimes the only way I can even begin to let go of the pain. I first met Rose when I was dating one of her cousins. I remember how bright and cheerful Rose was at every family gathering. I really wanted to get to know her but back then my world pretty much revolved around 'the boy.' Fast forward quite a few years... Bobby and I have married, had our beautiful girls and settled  our oldest, AnnaRose into school life at Hillcrest
Read more

September's Story

Image
I feel like I have written a few blog posts in honour of friends who have passed and sadly I have another. This one is close to my heart and has been percolating for a few days now. It feels sacred somehow and I'm not entirely sure I want to share it just yet so if you read know that for all the missing details and possibly inaccurate ones this is my narrative on what has easily been one of the most abstract and yet important friendships my grown up life. Long ago when the Internet was new, there existed these strange things called message boards where you interacted with complete strangers using whatever pseudonym you desired. I don't even remember how I stumbled across the Steven Curtis Chapman fan boards but I did. We were a grand group of strangers who became friends. There were so many of us. One of the younger ones started a community we fondly called Chapmanville and many of us moved in and claimed residency with fictitious jobs and so much more. It was a virtual world
Read more

50 Years

Image
I love celebrating anniversaries, wedding ones in particular. There is just something about honoring the moment two people chose to join together for this lifetime and face whatever is to come there way. Marriage is more than a piece of paper, more than a legal commitment, it is a covenant made before God to be one and to make it last... every year you can look back and say 'we made another year!' is reason to celebrate. Looking back at the highs and lows, the times you were totally on the same page and those times you were just 'broken together.' It's a great day to look forward and dream about what might still be coming your way. Yesterday we celebrated 50 years of marriage with Mom and Dad and will do so again in 7 weeks with the family in Banff but I couldn't let the actual day slip by without honouring the two who have showed me what marriage really looks like. They aren't perfect and Dad would get mad at me if I suggested otherwise but they have al
Read more