Change is coming
What's that saying about the one constant in our lives being change? I don't know the quote but I know there is truth in it. To be moving forward requires change and so while I don't exactly like change, I have come to embrace it as a sign of growth and moving ahead.
My days as a childcare provider are numbered. Last spring I made the difficult decision that it was time to start phasing out of this long lasting phase of my life. I started childcare way back in 1992, shortly after I graduated from highschool. At that point I couldn't handle the stress of a 'real' job and so I became a nanny. I worked with little TJ and Zoe at first. TJ's mom and I ended up not being a good fit and so I took care of Zoe at her house and somehow talked Marlene into letting me bring somebody else's kid to her house too so I could make a bit more money. Enter my Master Zach, my 25 pound 6 month old sumo baby. I loved those two kids. It was a great year of my life. Once Bobby and I married, I moved the daycare to my house and lost Zoe in the process as her mama just didn't want to go that route. That was tough but my heart mended and I started taking care of niece Sarah too.
And then my own baby girl came a litle too early and threw life into happy chaos. I couldn't handle it all and so had to let the daycare go for a few years. Once Brenna turned two, I decided to pick up and start again and welcomed a whole bunch of new little ones, some that came and stayed like Hannah and others who just came into the picture for awhile. It's hard to remember these years sometimes but they were full of laughter and chatter and playtime. I had the opportunity to work at the portrait studio and so I took a break from childcare as my dad was able to watch the girls as needed while he recovered from his open heart surgery.
When we moved up here to 2nd street I had big dreams of converting the basement inot a big open childcare space but it didn't happen quite the way we planned or hoped. I went back to childcare anyway, just not in the basement! I went through some tough stuff that needs not rehashed but ended up leaving childcare for awhile but soon enough it found me again as I began to care for Liam and Aspen. Those two little munchkins healed my heart and renewed my passion for opening the daycare and so we moved ahead. Liam moved before he got to be a part of it but soon my space was filled with little ones.
But now I am in my 40's and my kids are all but grown up. I am tired at the end of the day. My arms and my back ache and I just can't keep up. I do not know how my friends with little ones do it! Someone reminded me the other day that my friends hadn't been doing it for 20 plus years. :) Time to try something new and different... the only catch is, I don't know what that is.
Which brings us to today. Aspen started at the daycare yesterday and her little sister will join her there on Dec 1 at which time my daycare days come to an end, save for a couple mornings a week with a little friend (but I hardly count that as work ;) )
While I am excited, I am also sad. As I look back on all the years I cared for little ones I see the impact, I remember the joys and it's hard to focus on why it's time to move on. There have been so many babies in my arms that I have rocked to sleep and soothed through tears. I have seen second steps (never ever first!) and heard my name joyfully misprounounced 100 different ways. My years of loving my littles held purpose and I will miss those moments. The diaper changing, toilet training, temper tantrums and never ending use of the word NO, I will not miss ;) but my house will feel empty and very very quiet.
Change is hard but change is neccessary for growth and I firmly believe there is more out there for me to experience, there is other purpose to discover. A little space before I start grandmothering my own sweet grandbabies. Trust me I am no hurry for that day but I do look forward to it!
So soon, we will pack up the keepsake toys and donate the rest. The basement will become Anna's first apartment and her room upstairs... the guest/toy room. And I will join the working force... somewhere. And life will continue to change and I will continue to grow and become. It's an exciting time, don't you think?
and ps... spell check is still out of order so excuse the typos ;)
My days as a childcare provider are numbered. Last spring I made the difficult decision that it was time to start phasing out of this long lasting phase of my life. I started childcare way back in 1992, shortly after I graduated from highschool. At that point I couldn't handle the stress of a 'real' job and so I became a nanny. I worked with little TJ and Zoe at first. TJ's mom and I ended up not being a good fit and so I took care of Zoe at her house and somehow talked Marlene into letting me bring somebody else's kid to her house too so I could make a bit more money. Enter my Master Zach, my 25 pound 6 month old sumo baby. I loved those two kids. It was a great year of my life. Once Bobby and I married, I moved the daycare to my house and lost Zoe in the process as her mama just didn't want to go that route. That was tough but my heart mended and I started taking care of niece Sarah too.
And then my own baby girl came a litle too early and threw life into happy chaos. I couldn't handle it all and so had to let the daycare go for a few years. Once Brenna turned two, I decided to pick up and start again and welcomed a whole bunch of new little ones, some that came and stayed like Hannah and others who just came into the picture for awhile. It's hard to remember these years sometimes but they were full of laughter and chatter and playtime. I had the opportunity to work at the portrait studio and so I took a break from childcare as my dad was able to watch the girls as needed while he recovered from his open heart surgery.
When we moved up here to 2nd street I had big dreams of converting the basement inot a big open childcare space but it didn't happen quite the way we planned or hoped. I went back to childcare anyway, just not in the basement! I went through some tough stuff that needs not rehashed but ended up leaving childcare for awhile but soon enough it found me again as I began to care for Liam and Aspen. Those two little munchkins healed my heart and renewed my passion for opening the daycare and so we moved ahead. Liam moved before he got to be a part of it but soon my space was filled with little ones.
But now I am in my 40's and my kids are all but grown up. I am tired at the end of the day. My arms and my back ache and I just can't keep up. I do not know how my friends with little ones do it! Someone reminded me the other day that my friends hadn't been doing it for 20 plus years. :) Time to try something new and different... the only catch is, I don't know what that is.
Which brings us to today. Aspen started at the daycare yesterday and her little sister will join her there on Dec 1 at which time my daycare days come to an end, save for a couple mornings a week with a little friend (but I hardly count that as work ;) )
While I am excited, I am also sad. As I look back on all the years I cared for little ones I see the impact, I remember the joys and it's hard to focus on why it's time to move on. There have been so many babies in my arms that I have rocked to sleep and soothed through tears. I have seen second steps (never ever first!) and heard my name joyfully misprounounced 100 different ways. My years of loving my littles held purpose and I will miss those moments. The diaper changing, toilet training, temper tantrums and never ending use of the word NO, I will not miss ;) but my house will feel empty and very very quiet.
Change is hard but change is neccessary for growth and I firmly believe there is more out there for me to experience, there is other purpose to discover. A little space before I start grandmothering my own sweet grandbabies. Trust me I am no hurry for that day but I do look forward to it!
So soon, we will pack up the keepsake toys and donate the rest. The basement will become Anna's first apartment and her room upstairs... the guest/toy room. And I will join the working force... somewhere. And life will continue to change and I will continue to grow and become. It's an exciting time, don't you think?
and ps... spell check is still out of order so excuse the typos ;)
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