Post 10 Feels to soon...

We've known this day was coming for a long time. She has planned and made lists, packed and repacked. We have had special get togethers to say good bye and shared many hugs and special moments and yet today took me by surprise. It came so fast. We were ready but not ready at the same time.

As we awoke this morning we knew that it was going to be hard but I don't think we grasped just how hard. It was a difficult good bye (and an early one!)

The moment that really got me wasn't the final hug and whispered I love you and I'll see you at Christmas. It wasn't watching the van drive away. It came a few moments later when we pulled away from the camp, drove down the grid and watched at the van reached the intersection at Highway 1 and headed away from us. It was such a shock to my system to have that moment of clarity that while we were going one direction... she was going the other.

Our time was up. She goes her own way now and while we will always be her parents and she will always need us, it will be different. I'm sure it will be better but I will give myself the space to mourn the change even as I look forward to seeing where she travels and the choices she makes. It's tough to let go.

I'm going to love my grown up kid but I'm sure gonna miss my little girl.


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